Hey, I've been working on an episode that was supposed to go out this week. And this is not that episode.
And that's because I'm not okay.
And so, in the moment, I decided to record, into my phone, an episode about how I’m feeling right now and stress in our twenties.
And I hope that, if you’re also feeling stressed and anxious right now, that this can help you feel a little less alone. If you take anything away from this episode, is that it’s okay to not be okay. And acknowledging what you’re going through, and that it is a lot, is one of the best things you can do for yourself.
Listen to the entire episode by clicking here.
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Behind the scenes
Honestly, this whole episode was a behind the scenes to me.
And this has been really hard for me to record, and right now, really hard for me to write. So bear with me.
I’m someone who sets pretty high standards for myself.
And I try to juggle many parts of my life, as anyone does: work, hobbies, friends, family, and also for me, learning. And when I can’t keep those in balance, because work picks up, or my personal life gets hard, then it’s very easy for me to fall.
Have you ever felt like that?
So I was editing the episode I actually wanted to come out this week, and I was struggling because it was just not moving as fast as I wanted it to. I have to prioritize putting in more hours at my job this week. I am prioritizing the people in my life I care about who I want to help. And also, I need to prioritize my own sanity. So there were days that I was so tired, I couldn’t work on the podcast. Or I could only work on it for a bit. And so Thursday, I had to make a decision.
There is a lot I’ve learned to manage my stress. But also I have to relearn those lessons, or add to them.
And the biggest thing is learning how to live side by side with that stress and anxiety. And make my expectations for myself match the present moment.
I think, as a generation, we are pretty entrepreneurial. And sometimes it feels the weight of the world is on our shoulders. But we will live another day if we don’t complete everything exactly how we pictured we would, in order to take care of ourselves.
I’m having to contend with that with work, and outside of work. To be honest, even uploading this episode with barely any audio editing is making me feel sick, because I know I could’ve made it sound so much better. But hopefully reflecting on that moment as it was happening feels real to you. It did for me.
I asked myself, what will really happen if I don’t upload Friday? Or if I don’t upload how I want? No one is going to die, especially not me. The world is not going to stop. And that put a lot in perspective. And I ended up recording this unscripted episode because it felt right, not because I felt like I had to.
When we are managing our adult lives, there is a lot to handle. Sometimes it can get too much. But you are not any less for needing to take a step back, and survive. For trying your best, even if your idea of “your best” doesn’t match with what you’re realistically producing. Because we have to be realistic, and honest, and also gentle with ourselves. And that, is actually and truly, the standard we should be striving towards.